Objectum Sexual

Alright, so maybe I'm not on a par with that Erika Eiffel, but I took Betty out last night on her maiden voyage. Conditions were less than ideal; It was pissing rain all day and the roads were wet, but I had this yearning desire deep in my loins to ride her. (That didn't sound too good.) Really, I was tired of slogging around on my cross bike for the last 1000 miles and it was time to feel what 13.99 lbs. felt like under me. Yeah, that was the weigh in sans computer. It's almost embarrassing to admit. Had I the dinero for some superlight carbon tubulars, she'd probably be in the low 13's.

In lieu of the weather, I stuck close to home so if I were to get caught in a deluge, I'd be 10 minutes away from home at most. On my first circuit of a nearby lake, I was immediately taken by the frame's responsiveness- so responsive in fact, that the bike doesn't feel like it's under 14 lbs. You step on it and it goes. There is very little (if any) energy lost. Watts in=>mph. Not to sound like I work for Cervelo PR, but the R3 SL is like the perfect marriage between man and machine. (Gee, maybe I do suffer from OS.) You see, for one man it might be blasting a golf ball 300 yards with his $1000 driver. For another, it might be the perfect lines in his lawn afforded by his $5000 zero-radius lawn mower. For me, it's ripping up 5% risers at 20+mph on my 14 lb. Cervelo.

I believe there is something to this man and machine thing. I can remember when I was a kid and I had to shovel snow with a standard issue flat shovel, no less. The thing weighed 15 lbs. as it was made out of cast iron. Our driveway was as big as three football fields. (Hey, I'm prone to hyperbole from time to time.) Honestly, though, a six inch snowstorm would take 3 hours of shoveling. And my father, being as anal as he is with things, "wanted to see black" when he got home from work. Great, so much for building snow forts. So, as you can imagine, the time to completion increased exponentially with snowfall amounts. I can remember shoveling out storms that were up to my shoulders (you know, the storms were big in those days) while seemingly every other resident of our street had a snowblower. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to run across the street and throw my cast iron 15 lb. shovel into the impeller of my neighbor so that they would know my pain. But I forged on, the years passed, and "character" was built. Fast forward to winter break of freshman year of college. A good snowstorm hits and to my complete surprise, there, sitting in the garage, is a brand new 8 hp Ariens snowblower. Hmmm, I guess because his little serf was away at college, it was time for Dad to "join the revolution". I mean, afterall it was 1991. Anyway, Dad's at work one snowy January day, so I'll be a good son and snowblow the driveway and sidewalks. It literally took 1/6th of the time it used to take shoveling and I probably expended 1/20th of the energy. Dare I say, it was almost fun. Well, Dad gets home to freshly snowblowed driveway and for some reason he's not as pleased as I thought he'd be. He seems almost deflated- almost as if he was a kid that was looking forward to going to the circus only to have the big top burn to the ground the day before. Ok, maybe not that extreme, but as an 18 year old I didn't get it. I do now. Sorry, Dad, for spoiling your fun.

So Betty is a pretty sick machine. The bike just feels solid. Being a lifelong (3 years) Shimano-ite, I have to say I like the Sram Red group as well. It has no small chain ring trim but I don't think that will be a problem as I never used it with my Dura Ace. I get a little FD rub in anything bigger than 34x15 but if I need another gear, I'll just chuck it in my "big" 50t ring. The 34x28 was perfect as a minimum up my little 20+% tester hill. For a bike as light as it is, it never felt squirrelly. How they were able to design a frame that responsive yet able to hold lines is beyond me. (They're called engineers, Alex.) It goes to exactly where you point it- and in a hurry. I wonder how much of that is the HED Bastognes ($600 steal new, ebay), I highly recommend if you're looking for clinchers. Not to get all Star Warsy, but when I get Betty going over 22 mph, she starts to emit this sort of TIE fighter-ish howl kinda like what you hear here:

I'll have to rename her Darth but I guess that would then make me an objectum homosexual. Is that possible? The ride was going well until I had to ride back home all bmx-style knees to chest and get the allen key to tighten seatpost that had dropped almost 2 inches. Rookie mistake not to go out with it. Did a hot lap of the lake to see just how fast Betty/Darth is. Ended up PRing by 15 seconds despite wet roads and me not feeling so hot. Nice. So yeah, for lack of a better way of saying it, Betty was literally ridden hard and put away wet. I don't think "Darth" is going to work.

ToB 2009

Phew, what a day. I have to say it was harder than I expected it to be. Perhaps in retrospect I should have been a little more leary of the difficulty of the Tour of the Battenkill than I was. Had I been, I'm sure I wouldn't have slept as well as I did. I got up at 5:15 and had my coffee sans breakfast. What were you thinking, you ask? I had loads of carbs the two previous nights so I knew glycogen stores were topped off. I made my FRS for the ride up (because frankly I too am tired of being tired) and by 6:30 I was out the door to pick up my mates.

Sorry, girl, not this time.



The Rocket, Manimal, and myself have been "training" for this for some time. We'd put in our share of sub-20 degree rides just so we wouldn't get embarrassed in the heralded 30+ category. I can't tell you how many "What are you guys thinking?" comments we received when the word got out we were racing the 30+. I knew in my heart of hearts that despite our measly Cat 4 status, tattered jerseys and shorts, cross bikes, mountain bike shoes (sorry, James), and yes, hairy white legs, that we could hang with at least the middle of the pack. We must have been a sorry lot to the hard core roadies in the bunch but we managed to hang with the lead group through 80K. (more on that later)



Going into this race, I felt like I had a solid base- well over 1700 miles and a ton of climbing. The one thing that was lacking was the high end; I had done exactly one interval session and yes, it was the Tuesday before the race with Rocket. We did two circuits of a nearby lake that is about the flattest 8 miles you'll find anywhere in Litchfield County. On our 2nd circuit, trading 30 second pulls, we managed a paltry 24.2 mph average. Hey, there were like 25 mph headwinds around the entire lake... yeeeeeaah. What can I say? We're not exactly mashers. I think if you stacked the two of us head to toe we'd be a carbon shim under 11 feet. So yeah, the flat stuff isn't our forte but I wonder how much of that is due to the fact that we never train it. (Note: I will be doing some scooter motorpacing in the near future) Perhaps I'll have to risk life, limb, and bike next Spring and do a Crit or 2 to work on my flat power.



This was going to be my 2nd career "road" race. Ever. I'm not shitting you. Hey, I told you I was a rookie. So basically what you're telling me is that you did no high end stuff, this is your 2nd race ever, and you were riding your 18 lb. clunker cross bike? In the 30+, to boot? Well, yeah, I guess I'm either a complete fool or I like challenges. Maybe both. But hey, at least I didn't wear mtb shoes. Sorry, James. The story on that is James (Manimal), who is on my "team" and was leading the peloton for a while (and chasing down breaks, no less) was wearing his beat up mtb shoes and someone in the peloton said, "Hey, that guy's got mtb shoes on!" The jury is still out on whether that statement was made with scorn or adulation. I'm assuming it was made with the latter as he was in the lead group through 70K.



So the all-Dave Wiens team, calf hairs wisping in the wind and all, rolls up to the line. The pace for the first half hour or so was comfortable though I thought pretty quick. I think we covered over 20K. The roads really are a blur but I do remember Juniper Swamp being the first culling of the herd. Being a peloton neophyte, I was of course out of position toward the back at the start of this climb. I had to weave through the riders getting spit out like watermelon seeds and so by the time I crested the climb, the leaders had a gap of nearly 200 meters. Luckily, I had a lifesaver in the form of a dude with a yellow kit that aptly said "Asset Recovery" across his shorts. He drilled it to the back of the lead group pushing low 30's and I gladly sat in for the ride. This wouldn't be the first time Mr. Asset Recovery saved my ass. We hooked back on just before the turn for Rich Rd. and I promptly made my way up toward the middle of the group as to not let that happen again. It seems that this road racing thing requires not only strength and fitness but pack savviness as well. I burnt a match catching back onto the group just because I was out of position and did not know the course.



I sat in for the next 10 miles until selector #2- Joe Bean Road. If my memory serves me correctly this was a multi-tiered paved climb. It was an honest climb but to tell you the truth I just stayed aerobic and spun my 34x24. I was again toward the rear of the group on this one (when am I going to learn?) and I had to weave around some riders to the top. I crested this one in fair position with about a dozen or so riders and we latched back onto the main group which was now down to maybe 50. I did burn another match or two here hooking back on. It was on the dirt on Ferguson where I was surprised to see the Rocket who also must have been out of position on the Joe Bean climb. He latched on to our group and we made it back to the lead group.



The next 25-30K were uneventful- just meandering through the bucolic upstate NY farmland. I would look up at times and see James leading the peloton with his mtb shoes. I was thinking to myself, wow, he must be feeling good. That unfortunately would change for the worse later. It was good to see him up there. After the race, he told me that he was hoping to get his picture in a magazine. Had this race been about 20K shorter, he probably would have top 10'd.



Later, it seemed that the top 20 guys kept screwing with the peloton. We'd be cruising at like 25 mph and then there'd be intermittent bouts of 30+ mph which began to take its toll on my legs. Had I trained more specifically, this wouldn't have been quite as painful as it was. These bursts began to sap my climbing legs big time. Cycleworx was still well represented with the three of us still in the lead group of about 40 riders with less than 25K to go. I believe it was around Mountain Rd. that I lost contact with the lead group. James was in a spot of bother at this point and I tried hammering to get him back to the group- to no avail. He would later say he was having trouble seeing and would not recover his eyesight until halfway home. That's what I would call an ultra-Bonk. Yikes!


I bombed the sketchy descent at 40+ (Vittoria Open Pave EVO CG 24mm- perfect tire choice by the way) and could see the Rocket dangling about 200 meters up the road. He too, had been shelled at this point. I did what I could with Meeting House and I could see the lead group about 200 meters ahead of Rocket. I TT'd for a couple miles when we hit pavement and who do I catch? None other than Mr. "Asset Recovery" himself. I settled in behind him for about 20 seconds, came around for an honest pull, and then we held up for a group of 4. The six of us worked great together for the next 10K or so, holding a steady 27 mph. I was well on my way to Shitsville when we took the turn for Stage Rd. I kept a steady pace throughout the climb and didn't completely redline (I don't think my cramping hamstrings would allow me to anyway). I climbed with 2 other guys from our group of 6 and we ended up passing 3 or 4 guys in our category who were completely blown. I didn't want to blast the climb solo (not like I really could anyway) and end up in no man's land all the way to the finish. One of the guys I crested Stage with (a GHCC rider) took off and bridged to Rocket. I probably should have went with him. Instead I held back a hair and descended with a CVC Subaru rider. He was a ridiculously strong flat rider, though by this point his tree trunk legs weren't behaving for him. We traded pulls the last 5K as it just started to rain. It must have been kind of funny to the casual observer with my cadence at about 110 and his at 60. We were caught at the 1K to go by the 2 leaders of the Cat 3 race. They had a nice head of steam. CVC guy faded a bit down the stretch and as we made the turn for home I could see the Rocket and the GHCC rider sprinting for the line. It was an awesome feeling on the finishing straight with the race clock over the road. It almost had the feel of finishing a Tour stage as I crossed the line a few bike lengths ahead of CVC. I believe my official finish time was 2:49:43, good for 33rd place and 16 seconds down on the Rocket who finished 32nd. (GHCC guy pipped him at the line I guess) If I remember correctly, we were a little over 5 minutes down to the leaders. My Garmin said 61.36 miles, 2:47:31 ride time, with a surprising 4883 ft. of climbing. (I didn't start the Garmin until after we exited the neutral zone)



Here is the profile:

As you can see it was a bit punchy. The worst climb for me was probably Juniper Swamp because I wasn't yet opened up. But I will say, the compact with the 27 in the back was nice. I just chucked that baby in 4 Low and spun up it, keeping my weight over the rear tire for traction. Standing up was about half as efficient. Tire selection was spot on. Those Vittoria Open Pave EVO CG 24mm tires were perfect. Though you lose some in rolling resistance and weight, I wouldn't have wanted anything else when I bombed that dirt descent (Mountain Rd.?) at nearly 45 mph.

There are only 5 things I would change for next year. 1. Double EPO dosage (Just kidding), 2. Do more high end training (or in my case more than one), 3. Ride Black Betty (riding a bike 4# lighter AND more efficient would have been nice), 4. Be more aware of my position in the peloton (I burnt a few matches really for being in the wrong place at the wrong time), and 5. Shave my goddamn legs (that would have saved me another .5#). All in all, it was a great race experience and undoubtedly I will be back next year despite the apparent inability of organizers to get the results up in a timely fashion. Oh well, it's all good.

She's done

Sorry for the dearth of posting in the last couple weeks to the 1 1/2 readers out there. (James you are half man/half amazing) I've been in the Dolomites stealth training with Michael Rasmussen.


No, actually, I've been getting in some good miles despite the shit weather we've been continuing to have despite it being almost mid-April already. Last Sunday was probably the windiest day I've ever experienced on a bike and yes I felt like I was filling in for Sisyphus. I had this bright idea of mapping a route to Danbury from the house to watch Em's first half-marathon. The wind out of the West was merciless and naturally I had to ride, you guessed it, West. I explicitly remember riding down a -4-5% bias and pedaling into what had to be a 35 mph gust- just to maintain 17 mph. Needless to say, the f-bombs were flowing. The first 16 miles took me over an hour so I knew continuing to ride West was a lesson in futility (Ok Mother Nature you won again) so I modified the route on the fly. I headed due South and to be honest I don't think it was much better as I found that I had to almost ride into the wind to maintain my balance. I was starting to feel like shit warmed over after 3.5 hours of the boxing match and I was getting anxious that I wouldn't catch the finish of Em's race. I managed to hold it together though, and got there just in time to change and snap a couple pics of her finishing.



I thought she did awesome- 1:48 and change. I think that's a hair under 8:15/mile pace if my math is right. She accomplished her goal- she finished without it being a death march at her first crack at the distance. 13 miles is no joke. And to think that just a year ago she lacked the confidence to run 1/4 of that distance. Nice job, Em!




Other exciting news is that I finally picked up my road machine. It's really a thing of beauty. Kudos to Josh and his ridiculous mechanic skills. His attention to detail is second to none. Sorry, Lance, in this case it is completely about the bike. Stupidly, I probably should have taken a picture of the drive side to show off my K-force light Compact (yeah I ride a compact, so sue me) coupled with my Red drivetrain. Without pedals it is 13.75 lbs. which, given my meager Cat 4 riding ability, I shouldn't even be riding. Yeah, yeah, I know it's below the UCI weight limit. With my Look Keo Ti pedals and if I decide to cut some of the post down, it'll probably be right at the 14 mark. Although the Garmin with speed/cadence sensor will probably put me in the low 14s. It's still over 2 lbs. lighter than my Giant. Speaking of weight, I'm over 5 lbs. lighter than last year at this time, so I'm already netting 7 lbs. less. I still think I can very easily dump another 5 lbs. of body garbage and that coupled with the 1580 miles and 148,000 ft. of climbing I've already got in, hopefully will get me somewhere. Where? I never know.